You jumped on two first-time calls last week with your camera on.
HR onboarding, everyone else was a grey tile.
Advisor meeting, audio-only on her side.
You wondered if asking for cameras is rude now.
In many settings, camera-optional has become the default because video adds cognitive load and drains energy faster than a phone call. (Stanford News 2021), (Bailenson, Technology, Mind and Behavior 2021).
Why are you being rude?
You sat there going through the motions wondering — Why are you being so rude?
Is it so much to see your face at least for the introduction then give the choice? Or am I being rude expecting that as the norm?
Well, some people think that its not rude to give people a real choice and a reason. HR guidance generally discourages one-size-fits-all rules and ties camera asks to context, like new team formation, sensitive topics, or coaching. (Lobell, SHRM 2022). Accessibility guidance also reminds us that video can be hard for some participants, so camera-optional with clear alternatives is more inclusive. (W3C WAI , 2022), (Section 508 2025).
When did this shift happen?
Early in the pandemic, many teams treated “cameras on” as proof of presence. By 2021, evidence explained why all-video-all-day exhausts us, which softened the rule. As hybrid norms matured, management advice shifted from blanket mandates to purpose-driven use. (Frisch & Green, HBR 2021) (Ravishankar, HBR 2022).
A simple playbook that works in 2025
Use cameras with intention, not by default.
Turn cameras on when:
- You are building a new relationship, for a quick 5 to 8 minute hello
- You are discussing sensitive topics where nonverbal cues matter
- You need fast alignment in a small group
These are the moments where faces help. (Stanford News, 2021), (Shockley et al, Journal of Applied Psychology 2021).
Keep cameras optional when:
- It is a large group onboarding or one-to-many briefing
- It is a screen-share heavy session where faces add little
- It is a long meeting day and attention is already taxed
Leaders are moving toward fewer, better meetings and matching camera use to purpose, not habit. (Frisch & GreenHBR, 2021), (Ravishankar, HBR2022).
Don’t want to be rude?
Use warm, low-pressure language that makes choice explicit.
- At the start of a first meeting:
“I will keep my camera on for quick hellos so we can put names to faces. You are welcome to join me if you like. Audio-only is also fine.” - If everyone is camera-off and you want a bit of connection:
“Would anyone like a quick wave so we can match voices to names? Totally optional.” - If you truly need video for a purpose:
“For the next 10 minutes it would help to see reactions. If you are able, please turn video on. We will go back to optional right after.”
These prompts preserve dignity and reduce fatigue while giving you the rapport you want. (Frisch & Green, HBR 2021).
Put the expectation in the calendar invite
Most awkwardness disappears when you set the norm before the call.
My suggestion, if you are the creator of the meeting, write that Cameras are optional, or politely requested for introductory purposes.
Example note:
“Purpose: introductions and scope. Plan: first 5 to 8 minutes on camera for quick hellos, then camera optional. No recording.”
This mirrors current hybrid best practice, which favors clarity over assumptions. Frisch & Green, HBR 2021
Bottom line
It is not unkind to want faces in a first meeting. It is also normal to decline. The modern norm is choice with purpose. If you name the why, invite a short on-camera hello, and design the rest for focus, you get the human connection without the drain. Stanford News, 2021, Frisch & Green, HBR 2021. Stanford News, 2021
PS. I did not want to cite this as a journal or article — thus the clumsiness of the citations, but I wanted you to have access to read more if you were interested.
Sources used in-text
- (Stanford News, 2021): Four causes for “Zoom fatigue” and their solutions — Stanford University News. https://news.stanford.edu/stories/2021/02/four-causes-zoom-fatigue-solutions Stanford News
- (Technology, Mind and Behavior, 2021): Bailenson, J. Nonverbal overload: A theoretical argument for the causes of Zoom fatigue. https://tmb.apaopen.org/pub/nonverbal-overload tmb.apaopen.org
- (Journal of Applied Psychology, 2021): Shockley, K. et al., The fatiguing effects of camera use in virtual meetings: A within-person field experiment. PubMed record: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34423999/ PubMed
- (Harvard Business Review, 2021): What It Takes to Run a Great Hybrid Meeting. https://hbr.org/2021/06/what-it-takes-to-run-a-great-hybrid-meeting Harvard Business Review
- (Harvard Business Review, 2022): How to Run a Great Hybrid Meeting, Our Favorite Reads. https://hbr.org/2022/07/how-to-run-a-great-hybrid-meeting-our-favorite-reads Harvard Business Review
- (SHRM, 2022): Should Employees Be Required to Turn On Cameras During Virtual Meetings? https://www.shrm.org/topics-tools/news/employee-relations/employees-required-to-turn-cameras-virtual-meetings SHRM
- (W3C WAI, 2022): Accessibility of Remote Meetings (Working Draft). https://www.w3.org/TR/remote-meetings/ W3C
- (Section 508, 2025): Create Accessible Meetings. https://www.section508.gov/create/accessible-meetings/
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